My first🫀

they say everyone has a first...

but i do not measure my life in people... i measure it in feelings...

and before you, my heart was just beating... it was not living...

you are not a number in my life...

you are not a position...

you are not something that can be counted or compared...

you are the moment my heart learned its own language...

you are the day love stopped being a word and became something i could actually feel in my hands...

when i say you are my first, 

i mean first in depth...

first in meaning...

first in the way my soul reacts when i see your name light up on my phone...

first in the way my entire day shifts with just one message from you...

first in the way my heart feels safe when you are near and restless when you are not...

if first means the first man whose absence can make my chest heavy, then you are my first...

if first means the first man i am afraid to lose because he matters more than my pride, then you are my first...

if first means the first man i want in my future without any doubt, then you are my first...

you are the first man who made me understand that love is not about temporary butterflies...

it is about peace that stays...

you are the first man whose happiness matters to me more than my own mood...

the first man i pray for without being asked...

the first man whose silence can hurt me and whose smile can heal me...

when i look at you, i do not see someone who came into my life at a certain time...

i see the person who changed the entire meaning of my life...

you did not enter my story...

you became the story...

if being first means being the one who changed everything, then you are my first...

if being first means being the one i cannot imagine losing, then you are my first...

if being first means being the one who feels like home, safety, and forever in one heartbeat, then you are and will always be my first...

there is only you...

you do not stand after anyone...

you stand alone...

in a place no one else has ever touched...

when i think about love, i think of your face...

i think about your voice...

when i think about forever, i do not think about a dream...

i think about your hand in mine...

that certainty is you...

you are the beginning of what love truly means to me...

and if my heart could speak louder than my words, it would tell you this...

there was no before you that mattered...

there was only the moment my heart recognized you and decided it never wanted to let go...

you are not standing in anyone’s shadow...

you are not standing after anyone...

you are not compared...

you are not measured...

you are not second...

in my heart, there is no line of people before you...

there is only a silent space that was waiting for something real...

and then you came...

you are not a position in my life...

you are the foundation...

sometimes i think about how my world would look without you and it scares me...

not because i cannot survive...

but because surviving is not living...

and loving you feels like living...

you are the first person who made me want to be softer...

the first person who made me want to fix my flaws not because i was told to, but because you deserve the best version of me...

the first person whose pain would hurt me more than my own...

when you say you want to be the first, i want to hold your face🤲 and tell you this slowly so you never forget it...

you are the first man my heart trusted without forcing it...

the first man my soul felt safe enough to rest with...

the first man i did not love out of fear of being alone...

the first man i love because i cannot imagine choosing anyone else...

you are not my second anything...

you are my first real everything...

my first real peace...

my first real certainty...

my first real prayer said with tears...

my first real forever i actually believe in...

if love is about who leaves a permanent mark on your soul, then you have written your name in mine so deeply that no one could ever erase it...

and that is why, in every way that truly matters...

you are my first...

there is a girl whose favorite view in this entire world...

is your face...

and that is not something small...

that is everything...

you are my god.

you are my first.

you are my last.